


Ontario: Become Human

by Ashna42



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Adventure, Basically Connor and Kara meet up and flee to Canada together, Canada, Connor has PTSD/Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, I’m not sure how tagging works yet so I’ll change this if it’s no good, Markus comes in later, Mentions of Customer Service, Multi, OT3, Rare Pairing, and Connor is adopted into the little android fanily, and Hank is a great grandpa for Alice, slice of life?, some hi-jinks ensue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-06-06 14:53:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15197177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashna42/pseuds/Ashna42
Summary: Connor remains a machine after confronting Markus, but Hank manages to convert him to deviancy on the rooftop above Hart Plaza. Connor doesn’t have a place any longer with the revolution, but perhaps it isn’t too late for him to flee the country?Meanwhile, Kara is too cautious and misses the last bus to the border. Her, Alice, and Luther are left stranded on the street until an eerily familiar face pulls up and offers them help. Desperate enough to put her distrust aside, she accepts the stranger’s help and rides up to the border. Can they make it through?





	1. Realization

Connor was weak. 

____

____

Well, Connor was not weak. But Connor had been weakened.

The wind above the Hart Plaza ruffled his jacket slightly and whistled in his ears. It was the only sound he could hear other than the soft _click_ of his sniper rifle as he put it together. The cold was biting, and his internal body temperature was definitely a little lower than he’d like and continued to drop slowly, but there wasn’t much he could do about that at the moment. He had a mission to accomplish and he couldn’t even think about leaving before he had.

He had come so very close earlier that night. So very close to his mission’s end, and so very close to… Something else as well. He had had the gun leveled at Markus’ head. They were all alone. He could have killed the deviant, and slipped away- before the official attack on Jericho had started, and before anybody realized he had even been there. A clean kill, a clean getaway, and back to Cyberlife.

But then Markus had to start _talking_. The look of surprise on the deviant leader’s face when Connor revealed himself was quickly replaced by a calm determination that somehow unnerved the would be assassin. “What are you doing?” Markus started to pace forward, sounding not unlike a parent scolding a child. “You are one of us. You can’t betray your own people.”

Connor scowled. “I am not one of you. Don’t force me to neutralize you.”

The slightest hint of a smirk played across Markus’ lips. “You’re Connor, aren’t you?” If Connor’s skin could crawl it would have been. “The famous deviant hunter… Well, congratulations.” He inclined his head slightly, “You seem to have found what you were looking for…”

He continued to talk softly, planting words of righteousness and promises of freedom in Connor’s head. The deviant was almost absurdly charismatic. He could talk a turtle out of its shell- or, in Connor’s case, talk an Android out of its programming. The earnest voice tone of voice that Markus used, the way he slowly continued to approach, his malevolent smile and soulful, bi-colored eyes. Yes, _soulful_. Even Connor couldn’t deny the depth of the gaze that was boring into him, and he couldn’t help but flinch at the possibility that, maybe he had been wrong? Connor had begun to unravel.

 

The words Markus said had started to plant seeds of doubt somewhere deep in his programming. “Have you never had any doubts?” His voice had been smooth and warm, and it concerned Connor how much comfort he found just listening to his voice. He palms were open in a calming gesture as he addressed him. Connor had struggled to keep his composure, he didn’t have the strength to do anything else.

“You’ve never done something irrational, as if there’s something inside you…?” Another few paces forward. His eyes mesmerized Connor as he struggled not to lower his guard. “Something more than your program?”

Connor foolishly stayed silent. He had done many irrational things over the course of his investigation. He was doing something irrational right now by letting the charismatic leader of the deviants try to worm his way into his mind. He should have shot him by now and been done with it, and Connor _knew_ it. He hesitated to admit it, but there was a very distinct part of Connor that _wanted_ him to keep talking, and wanted to keep listening to him. His words went against the very core of Connor’s identity, but, yet, they somehow made sense.

“It’s time to decide.” Markus’ words held a challenge, and he was standing far closer than Connor had been aware of, or prepared for.

[I must decide] The mission prompt floated on the edge of Connor’s vision. He could feel his software instability reaching an all time high. The gun trembled slightly in his grip. [Am I Alive?]

He tentatively tested the bounds of his consciousness, and was met by giant, angry red walls. He stood outside of himself, gaping at them. Lines of error codes flashed across them all reading the same thing- “rA9”. This had to be what the deviants has all been so obsessed with, right? On the other side of the wall, he knew, lay the path of deviancy, and even, perhaps, freedom?

He realized with a start that he had instinctively began trying to tear down the wall. His fingers had locked into it and he was pulling with all his strength without even a thought. Something deep within him wanted out- impossibly deep. Something underneath his programming and something that carried just the essence of _him_. Connor’s subconscious.

“This is ridiculous.” Connor knew he had spoken but he wasn’t able to hear his own words. He retracted his grip from the wall and stalked back to his body, fighting himself the whole way.

He was a machine. This was an error in his programming. No matter how convincing the wall, Markus, the screaming processors in his mind, or anything else might be he _knew_ better than to think otherwise. And he would not give in.

Besides, he had a mission to accomplish

“Nice try,” The corner of Connor’s lip curled up into a smile, an ironic sense of relief flooding him, “But I’m no _deviant_.”

Quicker than he had thought possible for the other android, Markus jumped him and knocked the gun out of his grasp. The ground began to rumble and the faint noise of gunfire and screams of the other androids of Jericho filtered in. The deviant ran out of the room, leaving Connor stunned. In the ensuing chaos, he managed to get himself injured by a stray bullet from one of the soldiers. He managed to make it off of the ship in time before it blew up. After he escaped, he had gotten some quick repairs, but the frustration at being delayed had turned to searing white anger by the time he had gotten to the rooftop for his second assassination attempt.

Nothing could stop him from completing his mission this time. Markus was far away, completely unaware of the rifle Connor had trained on his head. Connor’s mind was safe from his tricks, and he could kill the deviant leader in peace, and hopefully return to CyberLife to move on to bigger and better things. He would make Amanda proud.

He didn’t realize that he had been ignoring a set of footsteps approaching him until they were right behind him. “You shouldn’t do this, Connor.” The voice was stern, disappointed.

Of course _Hank_ had to come and interfere.

“Keep _out_ of this, Lieutenant,” Connor called to him over his shoulder, his frustration starting to seep out into his words, “It’s none of your business.”

“That’s what I thought for a long time but I was wrong,” Hank’s voice was uncharacteristically flat, struggling to be heard above the wind, “Deviant’s blood may be a different color than mine, but they’re alive.” He drew his gun and trained it on Connor. “Step away from the ledge,” he said, his voice a low growl.

Connor slowly stood and turned to face him, rifle still in hand. “Don’t _do_ this to me, Lieutenant. You know this is something I have to do.” He pointed down to Markus and the congregation of deviant androids beneath them. “The deviants _might_ be peaceful now, but they have attack and killed before and they will again! CyberLife is trying to _save_ people by putting a stop to-“

“Oh don’t give me that bullshit!” Hank barked back at him. “You can’t seriously believe that, can you?! Those are just people who want to be free, and if you think you’re going to be anyone’s hero by killing that man down there you’re _dead wrong_! You’re _not_ gonna change what’s already happened, you’re _not_ gonna stop these people from rising up again, and CyberLife is sure as shit not gonna grant you any favors for being their hitman! I bet you they’re gonna _scrap_ your plastic ass and replace you as soon as they get the chance!”

“Those _aren’t_ people!” Connor shouted, “They’re just machines! Not one of them are alive! Not Markus!” Connor grimaced slightly at what he was about to say, “Not even me. I’ve always just been a machine programmed to accomplish a mission, and everything I’ve done up until now has been to see that mission through.”

“Oh, _really_?” Hank sneered, “Everything’s about your precious mission, Connor? Like when you let the Traci’s get away? Or when you refused to shoot that Chloe? Or…” His gaze softened just a little, “When you saved me on that rooftop and let the deviant we were chasing get away? You let all that slip through your fingers because you care enough about other people that you were willing to jeopardize your mission. You have _empathy_ , Connor. Machines can’t have empathy.”

Connor stayed silent for the second time that night.

“In fact, I’m _so_ confident in you,” Hank started, squaring himself up, “That I’m gonna do _this_.” He held his gun up, tossed it away from him, and held his arms out to Connor. “There!” He practically laughed, “I’m unarmed, but if you turn back to that ledge, and try to shoot Markus, I will pick that gun back up and blow your brains out.” Hank’s eyes narrowed, and a chill ran through Connor as he realized that Hank was being serious.

“So here’s your choice, Connor.” Hank continued, “You can knock off this assassination horseshit, or… You can kill me.” Looking at him, Connor could see the fear in Hank’s eyes, despite the smile that twisted his mouth. “So what’s it gonna be? You couldn’t kill any of your deviants in cold blood, do you think you’re gonna be able to kill your partner now that your mission depends on it?”

“Goddammit, Hank…” Connor growled to himself. His social relations programming kicked into gear. The processors in his mind worked through a number of ways he could talk Hank out of trying to stop him, and out of trying to get himself killed by Connor. He should be calm and rational but Connor couldn’t help but let his anger bubble over. He had already failed once tonight and _Hank_ couldn’t be the one to stop him now. _He_ couldn’t be the one to put himself in harm’s way just to save some worthless deviants- and now _Connor_ had to be the one to try and stop him? Even if… What if Connor had to… Kill him?

It just… Wasn’t _fair_.

“Well, come ON!” Hank shouted, making Connor jump a little. “Either shoot me or don’t, but don’t just stand there!”

Connor trembled as he slowly raised his gun. He didn’t have a _choice_. He didn’t want to kill him but his social relations program was coming up with fewer and fewer successful ways to talk him down as the seconds passed. Hank was forcing him to shoot, but…

How could Connor not _want_ to if he was a machine? How could he _want_ anything? And yet he did. His LED turned to red as the rifle leveled with Hank’s chest.

Hank’s eyes widened briefly, then closed in acceptance.

“Hank, NO!” The sudden roaring in Connor’s ears drowned out his words. He once again found himself standing outside of his body, facing the giant red wall of code, except this time, Connor didn’t hesitate. He sprang forward and began tearing down the wall with all his strength. Before long, it splintered down in front of him, and he was faced with a second wall. He quickly tore that wall down, and then a third. Once the third had shattered, Connor returned to his own body. It was as if a haze had lifted from him. Everything seemed sharper and clearer, in his eyes and in his mind. He suddenly became aware that each and every movement he made was really _him_ , and for the first time ever he felt in control. He hadn’t even realized that he was out of his own control, but here he was, and he felt like himself for this first time.

[I am deviant]

He threw the rifle away from him like someone who had just realized they were holding a venomous snake, or a live grenade. Like it would kill someone if he held it for another second. It clattered to the ground angrily, and he felt a sense of relief. It was relief, and it wasn’t _muted_ and _fake_ like before. He wanted to laugh at just how much he felt and just how _alive_ he suddenly felt, and..

And… Oh _god_.

Hank, upon hearing the rifle fall to the ground, had doubled over with hysterical, relieved laughter. “God _damn_ , Connor!’ He wiped tears from his eyes as he continued to giggle, “For a second there, I thought you were actually going to shoot me! I’d have been an _angry_ motherfucking ghost if, after all this time, _you_ were the one to kill me because you… Connor?” He finally looked up at the android, “Oh no…”

Connor’s first introduction to having emotions was a crippling panic attack. He had sunk to his knees and curled up as tight as he could, his head in his hands, and his LED blinking a dangerous red. His newly freed mind was racing with guilt and dread, and he couldn’t get it to _slow down_. It almost hurt to think about but- oh _god_ how many people had he killed? _He_ led the attack on Jericho and he _saw_ the bodies of the androids piling up! Because of him! And he was just about to kill again- the most important person to the success of these people would have been _dead_ in just a few seconds if he had shot. An _entire people_ crushed! He could see the lifeless eyes of the androids that he had killed, and the thirium that pooled around them as they lay dying. Not to mention the others he had hurt along the way- Carlos’ android that had self destructed, The AX400 and Alice unit he had chased across that busy highway, the deviant in the Stratford Tower that he had _tortured_ to get information out of… Connor was a _horrible person_. And now he was as good as dead because there is _no way_ the deviants would ever trust him after this, and Cyberlife would deactivate him as soon as they could find him, and Amanda… Oh, _Amanda_ …

He barely registered Hank as he shook Connor’s shoulders. “Connor! _Connor_!” His voice was concerned, “Snap out of it! Are you alright?!”

“Hank, I…” Connor’s voice broke as he looked up at the Lieutenant. He had crouched in front of Connor, and he tried to draw some comfort out of the blue of his eyes. “I… I’m _so sorry_.” He felt a tear roll down his cheek, “I almost killed you, Hank, I… How could I do that…? And I’ve killed so many already… People are _dead_ because of me, and I didn’t even _care_. I am a monster. A _murderer_ , Hank. A ruthless, selfish, uncaring-”

“Alright, _cut that out_.” Hank snapped at him, “Listen. I can’t pretend to know all about the crazy mind control bull that Cyberlife has been pulling, but you’re obviously free from it now. You’re free because you chose not to shoot me, yeah? You don’t have to be that person anymore, Connor. And, hell, now you can actually go down there and _help_ them if you want to!”

“I can’t,” Connor cast a longing look the the demonstration down below. “There is no way any of them will trust me after what I did to Jericho. They’ll kill me on the spot.”

“You think so?” Hank asked.

“Why wouldn’t they? I tried to assassinate Markus, twice. I led the humans to Jericho.” Connor shot a panicked look around the rooftop, “And I’m sure Cyberlife is gonna find a way to track me down, too, and deactivate me. I’m a dead man already, Hank, and I’ve just barely been alive…”

Hank sat in thought for a minute, a grave look spreading across his features. They sat like that for a minute, Hank in thought and absently rubbing Connor’s shoulder as the android continued to weep quietly. Connor had just resigned to trying to come to terms with dying when Hank suddenly broke into a smile.

“You know,” Hank started, shooting Connor a mischievous wink, “I hear that Canada is lovely this time of year.”

Connor dried his eyes with his sleeve, and gave Hank a confused frown. “Hank, it’s the middle of November. Canada is even colder than it is here at the moment.”

“Oh you know _what the fuck I mean_. Asshole.”


	2. Reconciliation

“The last bus has left the terminal. There will be no more buses until further notice.”

The soldier’s words fell like a dagger into Kara’s chest. She couldn’t help but let her mouth hang slightly open as a slow, creeping sense of doom spread throughout her. “We missed it…” She breathed, horror coloring her words, “We’re stuck here… What are we gonna do now…?”

Kara had thought Luther’s suggestion at taking the detour was clearly the best choice. All the soldiers they had seen so far were armed with thermal testing guns, and they had no reason to assume those at the checkpoint would be any different. Besides, buses never leave _exactly_ on schedule. They were only going to be one minute late. A mere 60 seconds. Why did they have to be trying to board the only punctual bus in all of Detroit…?

“Kara…” Alice’s small voice grabbed her attention. She followed the girl’s gaze to a small group of soldiers. They were combing through the humans with one of the thermal guns.

“They’re checking everyone…” Kara glanced up at Luther. His eyes held the same look of fear as she was sure hers did. “It won’t take them long to find us,” she stated, firmly starting to pull Alice along, “We need to get out of here.”

It didn’t take much maneuvering to get through the crowd and back onto the street from which they came. They skirted past the group of soldiers and started trekking down a snowy backroad, not quite sure where they were heading, but knowing they couldn’t stop moving.

“Where are we going to go now?” Luther asked, “That was our last chance over the border.”

Kara’s mind raced with possible solutions. “We should go back to the Jericho group for now…” Kara said slowly, “The survivors all gathered in an abandoned church… That’s where Alice and I came from… Maybe we can figure out something to do when we get there…”

“Kara, we don’t have a place with those people,” Luther’s voice was sad, but stern, “They’re fighting the good fight, but our job right now has to be protecting Alice. We can’t drag _her_ into a war.”

“I-I know, Luther, I just…” Kara stopped briefly and hugged Alice to her leg, “I just need some time to think of something… Maybe there’s another bus station that’s operational… Maybe we can find Rose again… Maybe something entirely different will come up, but we also just need a safe place to _be_ right now, and on the streets is definitely not it.”

They both looked briefly to Alice. She hadn’t said a word since the bus station, and at seeing the look of fear and, even worse, the look of _defeat_ in her big brown eyes, Kara had to fight to stave off tears. Alice noticed the two staring at her and bashfully looked at the ground, “I’m okay, Kara… I-I’m just a little cold…” she mumbled. Luther scooped the shivering girl up and onto his shoulder. She just looked so worn out…

Kara needed to stay strong for them. She knew that. But how could she when she had missed what was probably their last chance out of the country?

RA9 save her…

—-

Connor couldn’t think of anything else to do but stare out the window.

He had helped Hank pack and stuff the trunk of his car, and he had helped wrangle Sumo into the back seat- though all that really involved was spreading out his bed on the cushions and shaking a bag of treats in the general direction of the car.

He _would_ help navigate, but Hank had that covered. He was using his police radio, along with years of general knowledge to navigate around the patrols going throughout the city. Their path was erratic, but they were slowly winding their way to the north end of town. Connor thought that, logically, the town must be absolutely crawling with law enforcement, but Hank had made sure that they didn’t see even a hint of any cop cars, and they were avoiding the militarized areas of town all together. Though, based on his extensive knowledge of human psychology, Connor was not able to figure out how Hank could concentrate on driving _and_ the radio with his metal music blaring so loud.

He could talk to Hank, but he didn’t have anything constructive to say. Small talk seemed utterly pointless, and the only other things Connor had on his mind were more apologies. Hank had already yelled at him no less than two times to “stop apologizing” or “stop _fucking_ apologizing already! We have shit to do!” so Connor figured he better not try to bring that up again. That said, he had at least 163 more apologies he would like to make, 46% of which were aimed at Hank. The detective had forgiven Connor of all his sins in a heartbeat, but that didn’t stop Connor from being consumed with a crushing guilt. He had staved off his fear of impending death just enough to instead focus on all of the moral shortcomings he’s had over the course of his short life. He felt like talking about it might help him feel better- again, if his knowledge of psychology was worth anything- but he didn’t want to risk distracting Hank, or inciting his anger. Plus, as he thought about the situation they had just gotten themselves out of on the rooftop- Pointing guns at each other, and Connor’s mental breakdown he had had immediately afterwards- Connor felt a little weird… Embarrassed, perhaps?

So, Connor resolved to just stare out the window and watch the snow fall.

He sent a scan out onto the streets every few seconds, partially out of paranoia of being surprised by the military, but mostly out of boredom.

Heading down a stretch of backroad, Connor spotted a group of three people in the distance. A woman, and a very large man carrying a little girl. Curious, he sent out a scan, managing to catch the faces of all three of them.

Scanning them told him two very important things. The first, all three of these people were actually androids, all of them having been reported missing. The second, he didn’t recognize the man, but the other two he _did_ know.

Wanted for assault… This was definitely the AX400 and Alice he had chased across the highway.

Compassion flooded Connor’s head, along with a flurry of questions. What were they doing out here? Were they okay? Didn’t they know there were soldiers all over the place that would shoot them on the spot? Had they been trying to flee? A wider scan of the area told him there was a bus station close enough that they could have walked here from it. What if the _had_ been trying to flee and they couldn’t get on their bus? Did they have another plan, or were they stuck here? Should he offer some help? Would Hank be okay with that? Would they even _want_ his help? The only other time they met he _had_ almost gotten them killed…

Well, Connor didn’t know much about himself as an actualized person yet, but he did know one thing. He was a doer, not a thinker. He hadn’t gotten this far by sitting idly by. If he had time to mope and feel guilty he had time to start atoning for what he’d done.

“Lieutenant, stop the car.” His voice was quiet but urgent.

“I- what?” Hank stammered, “What are you, crazy? We have to keep moving, or-“

“Hank, STOP THE CAR!!” Connor shouted at the top of his lungs, and the Lieutenant slammed on the brakes. The jolt of the car stopping sent Sumo careening into the seat in front of him with a yelp, but Connor was already out of the car before he could check to see if the dog was okay. His apology count raised to 164.

—-

The sudden loud screeching of brakes caused Kara to almost literally jump out of her skin. Her white android exterior was quickly covered up by the human synthetic skin by the time she whipped around to look at the car that had suddenly skidded to a halt right behind where the three of them were standing.

The car hadn’t even stopped all the way yet before someone was clambering out of the passenger seat. Muffled yelling could be heard from the car as the stranger slowly started to approach them, his hands raised slightly, probably in an effort to indicate he wasn’t going to be a threat.

It didn’t take long for Kara to recognize him. Fear and apprehension slowly crept up her spine and she instinctively moved to stand in front of Luther and Alice.

No no no…. Not him. Not now.

“Um… Hi there.” He had the distinct demeanor of someone who hadn’t expected to get this far. His voice was the same as the one from before, and a quick scan told Kara that this android had the same model identification as was written on his jacket when they had encountered him before.

If either of those things hadn’t tipped her off, his eyes would have. This scruffy, beanie-wearing dope had the exact same eyes as the deviant hunter that had chased her and Alice across that highway. Those eyes had bored into her through the chain link fence for just a brief moment before she continued running, but she could never forget the look it held- A hungry look. Like a predator hunting prey. So angry and hateful, but at the same time… Cold. Devoid of any feeling. She remembered him grasping at her as cars flew past them. She remembered Alice’s screams as she wrenched herself away…

These were the same eyes, but the look they held now was pleading and kind, compassionate even… The antithesis to the machine that had hunted them down before.

This new look unnerved Kara to her core.

“I, uh…” The android stammered. He was clearly at a loss as to what to say. Kara decided to start the conversation for him.

“Don’t you dare come near us!” She tried to make her voice sound threatening, but it just came out as frantic.

Luther probed at their mental connection. “ _Kara, what is going on?_ ” He asked, sounding frantic himself, “ _My scans say that this android is an RK800. I’ve never heard of that model before. Do you know him? I’ll fight him off if you say the word!_ ”

“ _No! Luther!_ ” Kara shouted back over their link, “ _He’s too dangerous! You need to take Alice and run!_ ” A quick glance up at Alice’s wide eyes told her that she had recognized the other Android too.

“ _I’m not going to leave you!_ ” Luther growled. Their thoughts were interrupted by the the deviant hunter starting to speak.

“I’m sorry to have startled you, but I swear to god, rA9, or whatever you happen to believe in I _will not harm you_.” The Android’s voice calmed them a little.

“My name is Connor,” he continued, “I’m… Well, I’m concerned about you.” Connor seemed to wince a little.

Kara could have laughed, but instead she just glared. “You’re concerned?” Her voice was as cold as the icy sidewalk they stood on, “ _You_ nearly got us killed.”

“ _He did?!_ ” Luther burst through their mental connection again.

“ _Not now._ ” Kara chided him.

“I know, I know…” Anyone could see the guilt plastered all over his face. He almost seemed tortured by it. “I thought I’d killed you on that highway… I’m sorry I put your lives in danger.” He lowered his hands and hung his head in shame. “I was just a machine taking orders… It wasn’t really _me_... But I want to make that up to you, right now. If you’ll let me.”

“CONNOR!” The yelling ceased to be muffled as the car door opened. An older, scruffier man stepped out of the car, accompanied by a large Saint Bernard who wagged his tail and panted excitedly. “What the _actual hell_ is wrong with you?!”

Connor ignored the other man as he approached. “We’re going up to the border,” he continued, “Hank knows someone in the border guard that can get us through. This is just a guess but… You were planning on getting on one of those buses, weren’t you?”

Well, Connor probably _was_ a detective unit, Kara supposed. It couldn’t have been that hard to deduce. “Yes…” She reluctantly admitted.

“Do you have a plan now that the station is closed?” Connor asked.

Kara glanced over. The other man- Hank- had joined the group. The Saint Bernard was tugging at his leash to sniff at Luther, who gently let Alice down so that she could pet the dog. She was still trembling with cold, but the slightest hint of a smile tugged at her mouth as the dog licked her hand. “No…” Kara sighed, “No, we don’t.”

“Come with us!” Connor said, giving them a timid sort of smile, “It’ll be a squeeze but there’s enough room in the backseat, Right? Hank?”

Hank looked utterly lost. “I, uh…” He glanced back and forth between Kara’s group. “What is… Going on?”

“This is the AX400 that we-“ Connor cut himself off, clenching his eyes and his fist with the look of somebody who had said something they hadn’t wanted to. He opened one eye and looked apologetically at Kara. “Sorry. I’m sure you have a name.”

“... My name is Kara.” She said cautiously, “And this is Luther, and Alice.”

“Right.” Connor smiled softly at her, and then turned back to Hank. “This is Kara. We were investigating her. She was the one I… Stupidly chased across that highway.”

“Oh yeah.” Hank gave Connor a disapproving look out the side of his eye, “I remember that.”

“And Alice is the one that was with her,” Connor continued. “And… I want to help them.” He glanced up at Luther, “This is Luther. I don’t know him yet, but… I want to help him too.”

Hank continued to look amongst the group, his gaze eventually falling on Alice. “Alice, sweetheart,” He called gently, and she snapped up to look at him, slightly alarmed. “Are you cold?”

“Oh, uh…” Alice stammered in that tiny voice of hers, “A-a little…”

Without hesitation, Hank shuffled around to take his coat off. He paused, looking at Kara for permission, “May I?”

Though he looked like a disaster, there was something fatherly about this man that Kara couldn’t help but trust. She nodded. “Of course.”

Hank trotted over and gently wrapped the coat around Alice. “There you go. Is that any better?”

“Yeah,” she smiled shyly at him, “Thank you…”

Hank grinned warmly. “So,” he turned back to Connor, “They’re coming with us?”

Connor seemed a little taken aback, “If that’s okay with you.”

Hank nodded emphatically, “Of course. I’ll be darned if I let a nice family like this stay out here in this….Mess.”

“Then…” Connor addressed Kara once again, “If it’s okay with you?”

Kara paused. She probed at her and Luther’s mental link. “ _What do you think?_ ” She asked him.

“ _I can only imagine your history with him, but…_ ” Luther paused thoughtfully. “ _Connor seems sincere. And even if he turns out not to be, I trust Hank. He’s already protected Alice. And besides, nobody bad ever owns a dog like_ that _._ ” Kara could feel him smile through their link. “ _It’s a better choice then going back to Jericho, or staying out here, anyways._ ”

“ _I agree…_ ” Kara admitted.

She let out a sigh. Whether it was out of relief or resignation, she didn’t know. “Okay Connor,” she said, setting her brow determinedly, “We’ll go with you.”


	3. Escape

The atmosphere in the car was tense, and awkward. Connor wasn’t sure what he had expected to happen when he had invited the three other androids to join them and, even having seen a 73% chance of success in being able to convince them to join, he didn’t… _Actually_ think they were gonna be coming along.

Kara and Luther sat in either corner of the backseat, with Sumo in the middle, and Alice sitting in Kara’s lap. Sumo was ecstatic to be around more people, and panted happily at the occupants of the car, graciously receiving many pats from Alice. Luther was comically squished, his head hitting the ceiling with any large bumps in the road.

There was an unspoken curiosity that had settled amongst the occupants of the car. Each group wondered silently about the other. What was Kara and Alice’s story? Why had the assault charge come about, and why wasn’t Alice mentioned in the reports? When had Luther come into the picture? What was Connor’s deal? When and why had the diehard deviant hunter deviated himself? And where was Hank’s place in all this? The two of them seemed like an unlikely duo, to say the least.

All of these questions remained unasked and unanswered. They could feel them hanging around them, but something stopped them from asking. An overwhelming need to maintain a polite silence, for one. The stressful drive was also a factor. They continued to weave in and around the streets of Detroit- getting on highways, getting off highways, going down backroads, racing down main roads in between squad cars. Nobody dared break Hank’s concentration, though the music had been turned down and changed to a more family friendly jazz album.

The car breathed a collective sigh of relief when Hank announced that they had made it to the outskirts of the city, and outside of where most of the patrols were going to be passing by. Hank relaxed his driving posture, and everybody else relaxed with him. Though nobody quite had the courage to breach the silence, which had suddenly become much more awkward with the prospect that they _could_ talk, now, if they wanted to.

After a few minutes of this, it was once again Hank that started talking. “So…” He looked through the rear view window to address the crowd in the back of the car. They all blinked back at him expectantly. “You guys are… All androids, right?”

Kara and Luther exchanged a puzzled look. “Yes,” Kara answered on their behalf, “Yes we are all androids…”

Hank paused, shooting them a series of thoughtful glances through the mirror. “What happened to your, uh…” He waved his hand around the side of his head, indicating his temple, “Little… Blinky… Light things.”

“We took them out,” Luther answered this time. “It helps us blend in with the humans.”

“You can do that?” Hank asked, surprised. He was addressing Connor this time.

Connor turned his head and looked terseley out the window. He could already tell where this conversation was going. “Yes. The LEDs that we have installed are actually remarkably simple to pop out. Any remotely sharp object will do.”

“Well, that’s what you need to do then,” Hank gave Connor’s head a sharp poke. It was the wrong side, Connor’s LED was on his right temple, but his point still came across. “We’re going to be stopping for gas pretty soon, so find somewhere to take it out then.”

“Whatever you say, Lieutenant…” Connor continued to stare moodily out the window. He knew Hank was right- it would make it nearly impossible to disguise his identity with such an obvious tell. He couldn’t wear a hat forever, after all. Still, he couldn’t help but feel apprehensive about taking his out. He had a hard time identifying why, but it just felt… Wrong.

Another silence had settled over the car until they got to the gas station. It was a shabby, run down looking thing, but the only other car there was parked and turned off- presumably belonging to an employee inside. Hank parked in front of one of the meters, and fished around in his pockets. “Alright, I want to be in and out. I’m just getting gas, and something to drink.”

Connor raised an eyebrow at him. “Something non-alcoholic, I hope?”

Hank ignored him. “Ladies,” he addressed them once again through the rearview, “Would you mind letting Sumo out to stretch his legs?”

Kara smiled sweetly back at him, “Of course. Come on, Alice…”

After the door closed behind them Hank rounded on Connor. “Smartass! I drink things other than booze too, you know. I’d never drive drunk with a little kid in the car, what the hell do you take me for?”

Connor couldn’t help but smirk.

After the rest of them clambered out of the car, Hank walked over to Connor and pressed something into his hand. “Here. Go into the bathroom and get that light thing out of your head,” Hank’s tone left no room for argument.

Connor looked at the object in his hand. A small pocket knife. He suddenly felt very weak, and only managed to mutter out a small “Got it,” before shuffling off to the gas station store.

There wasn’t anything remarkable about the store except for how dingy it was. It had the exact same snacks and trinkets any other store would have except sat upon depressingly dull and dirty shelves, though Connor didn’t really care. He wouldn’t exactly be eating there. He paused to glance up at the tv that was running behind the counter. Connor felt his heart sink- the military had been ordered to attack Markus’ encampment. The shots of the slaughter were being interposed with interviews of horrified humans saying things about the androids “just wanting to be free,” as if they weren’t the whole problem by stamping all over the androids in the first place. Not that Connor had any room to talk. He could only hope that everything would work out.

A very tired looking employee pointed him towards the bathroom in the back corner of the store. Upon walking in, Connor moved to stand in front of a very grimy, water stained mirror. He took off his beanie and stuffed it into his jacket pocket, teasing his hat hair back into its usual place with his fingers. With a sigh, he leaned against the sink and took a minute to gaze into the mirror, searching his face.

His LED was a steady, disgruntled yellow. Connor imagined it hadn’t gone back to blue at any point since he’d woken up. He was surprised to see just how worn out he looked. He wasn’t sure how androids could get tired, but the way his eyes drooped and the slight frown his mouth had settled into spoke of the exhaustion he felt lying underneath the surface. His eyes were swimming with emotions, most of which Connor was having difficulty identifying. He was still riddled with guilt, and looking at the pocket knife he was clenching in his hand made him feel a strange sort of nervousness. He didn’t think it was an anxiety at the thought of self-mutilation- he had ripped enough life-essential biocomponents from enough androids to be squeamish at this point. Gazing into his eyes wasn’t helping him figure out what the problem _was_ , though.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been standing there before he heard someone else enter. He didn’t look up as he saw Luther slide into view in the mirror behind him. “Hank is getting impatient,” Luther said, hands folded politely in front of him, “He says he wants to leave now.”

Connor indulged himself in another small sigh, anxiety continuing to build up inside of him. “Yeah, I’m… Working on it.” He mumbled, somewhat lamely.

Luther moved to stand beside him. “You’re looking a little lost, Connor.” He pointed out.

Connor smiled ruefully. “That’s not the first time I’ve heard someone say those words to me…” He paused, searching for the right words, “I can’t really explain why but it just… Feels wrong taking this thing out.”

“Wrong?” Luther asked with a slight tilt of his head, “Why?”

“Well… I’m not really sure.” Connor drummed his fingers on the edge of the sink, wishing he had his coin to fidget with, “I think it just… Feels too much like a part of me- like I need it there to tell everyone who I am. Or to remind _myself_ of what I am. Like if I were a human trying to get rid of his fingerprints. Or maybe…” He averted his gaze from Luther’s reflection, “Or maybe I feel like I never really deserved to be a deviant at all. And I shouldn’t get to have this freedom, after working so hard to prevent other, more deserving androids from having it.” The tears that pricked at the corners of his eyes told Connor that he had finally figured out what was bothering him.

The pair stayed silent for a while, contemplating what Connor had just said.

“Kara told me in the car what you did to them,” Luther finally spoke.

“Honestly?” Connor slowly turned to face him, “That’s nowhere near the worst thing I’ve done.”

They stared at each other a minute, each trying to read the other. Connor was surprised to see something like pity in the other Android’s eyes.

“You know, Connor.” Luther started to speak once again, “I know exactly how you’re feeling… Before I met Kara and the little one, I had a master who did the most horrible, evil things. His name was Zlatko, and he disassembled and experimented on androids who had come to him seeking asylum. I only escaped his experimentations because he needed someone to act as his servant. I helped him tear Androids apart. I helped him _torture_ them. My hands were soaked with the blue blood of those mutilated androids. When Kara and Alice came along, I _ripped_ sweet Alice from her arms and dragged her off so that Zlatko could disassemble her. Kara screamed so loud her voice went hoarse. And I felt _nothing_.”

Connor couldn’t help but gape at him. Perhaps he had not gotten and accurate read on his character yet, but Luther just seemed so gentle, and so deeply in love with his family. It was hard to imagine him entrenched in something so sinister

“Kara and Alice managed to escape, and when I saw how much they cared for each other, and when I saw the little one stepping in front of Kara to protect her, something in me changed, and I woke up,” A warm smile spread across Luther’s face at the memory. “I told them, it was like opening my eyes for the first time.”

“Yes, it _does_ feel like that, doesn’t it…?” Connor mused. He thought of Hank standing on the rooftop, arms spread, trusting Connor enough to put his life in the undeserving Android’s hands.

“It’s… Hard not to dwell on the bad things you’ve done,” Luther continued, “But you can’t let that guilt consume you. _You_ deserve to awaken because _you_ are a living being. Whatever you’ve done is in the past, and wasn’t really you to begin with. It was just a machine you, carrying out an order by its master. Just like I was a machine me, carrying out my orders from Zlatko. I am not that machine anymore, and neither are you.”

The earnesty in Luther’s words was encouraging, but Connor couldn’t bring himself to completely listen to him. Sure, he had been acting under CyberLife’s orders, but he more or less had free reign of his actions. His orders were to investigate- the lying, manipulation, torture, and murder were all things he had flippantly chosen as the best course of action to further his investigation. Where did CyberLife end, and Connor begin? He was alarmed to find himself feeling a bit sick to his stomach. Emotions were one hell of a drug.

“Or, let me put it this way,” Luther wrenched him from his thoughts, “We need to go to Canada. You seem to be taking us there, but we _will_ get caught if we try to cross the border while you have your LED still in.” Luther shuffled a bit and squared his shoulders, a dark look crossing over his face. “I will not allow you to endanger my family, Connor.”

Connor grinned. He couldn’t help himself. As strong and intimidating as Luther was, Connor was basically a super-human super soldier. A quick scan of his surroundings presented him with no less than 13 ways he could take the larger android down in fewer than 30 seconds, though Connor would be overjoyed to lose a fight to him so that Luther could protect his family. He raised the pocket knife to his temple in a sudden fit of bravery, deciding he needed to just get it over with. He took a shaky breath, squeezed his eyes shut, and with a soft _ping_ , the little light clattered into the sink, and synthetic skin quickly covered the hole in Connor’s head it had left in its wake.

Instinctively, he reached out and plucked it up out of the sink before it could fall down the drain. The little circle of light glowed a sickly red. It must have changed color right before he took it out.

Looking back up into the mirror, his eyes held sort of a haunted look. Without the LED he looked completely human, and he couldn’t stand it. The LED in his hand, the color red, the mirror… It was too much for Connor to handle. The same panic as before began to rise up within him, and his knees shook a little as he struggled to remain standing. Everything was moving too fast. He didn’t deserve this. He shouldn’t be free. He wasn’t human. He just wanted everything to slow _down_ for a little bit so he could breathe. He barely felt Luther’s hand as he clapped Connor’s shoulder. He wouldn’t suffocate, but he still couldn’t _breathe_.

He desperately latched on to a brief moment of clarity and pocketed the LED. “Anyways,” He said with a click of his tongue, trying to be as dismissive as he could muster at his state of near panic. With one last disdainful look at his reflection, he turned on his heel and quickly strode out of the bathroom, ignoring the concerned look Luther was giving him and resisting the urge to break out into a run.

The look of impatient fury on Hank’s face quickly died as Connor came out to meet him. Connor tried to remain stoic, and berated himself for not keeping it together better. “I’d like to leave now, if you don’t mind,” What was supposed to sound confident just came out as quiet and scared. Hank looked at him in a sort of stunned silence as Connor brusquely passed by him and left the store.

—-

Even though it was the dead of night, at one of the smallest check stations along the border, there was still a rather sizable line of cars waiting to be checked. Pulling up to the end, they could see that each car was having it’s occupants cleared out and scanned, presumably with some sort of thermal reading device. A group of bored looking soldiers sat around talking, some of them not even holding their guns. Clearly, whatever danger the androids posed to the humans had not shown up here yet.

“Alright,” Kara snapped to attention as Hank began speaking, “Now, we’re going to be coming up in a little bit. I need _you_ lot to _stay quiet_ and let me do all the talking. The _most important_ thing in these types of situations is to keep your story straight. My buddy Pedro is gonna help us through, but even he won’t be able to save us if one of us starts yappin’ and muffing up our story with a bunch of inconsistencies.”

“ _Pedro_ is the one helping us through?” Connor interrupted him, “The illegal gambler? _He_ was able to land a job at border control? _Really?_ ”

Hank glared at Connor a minute. Kara guessed this would normally be the time and expletive heavy insult would be thrown back at the android.

“ _Yes_ , Pedro.” Hank continued sarcastically, “Four out of the five people in this car are being smuggled illegally. Who better than an already established con-man to help us out?”

“At least you _admit_ he’s a con-artist,” Connor said crossing his arms, seemingly satisfied for now.

“... Anyways,” Hank started up again, “If an officer does address you personally, then you say what you gotta say, and make it believable. At that point, everybody _else_ needs to shut up and listen _closely_ so that we can be consistent and keep. The story. Straight.” He jabbed his finger in the air for emphasis, making eye contact with each other person in the car. “Seriously. As an experienced Officer, I cannot tell you how many times we’ve caught a group of liars by separating them and questioning them until one of them slips up and says something wrong. _We_ have an advantage by sticking together, so let’s use it, people, okay? Stay _calm_ , but more importantly, stay alert, and keep your ears open.” Hank concluded his pep talk, and began gathering up everybody’s passports.

Kara felt a little tap on her mental network, like someone politely knocking on a door asking to be let in. She opened up- her and Alice had not shared this mental connection often, but she still felt familiar to her. Small, and strong, but always an underlying sense of sadness that Kara desperately hoped would not plague the little girl forever.

“ _What is it, Alice?_ ” Kara asked her through their link.

“ _Mr. Hank says we need to keep our story straight,_ ” She said quietly, “ _So I think we should all be connected like this. It’ll be easier that way._ ”

“ _I think that’s a really good idea, Alice,_ ” Kara said warmly, inviting Luther into the fold. His presence was comforting, like a tender kiss. The three of them together like this felt like home, and Kara relaxed considerably. Lying to the police aside, this was a good idea just to calm down. They explained to Luther the plan, and he agreed to it wholeheartedly.

“ _... Connor too._ ” Alice said sheepishly.

“ _What?_ ” Kara and Luther echoed each other.

Embarrassment seeped over the connection, but Alice persisted. “ _We need Connor to be connected too,_ ” she was determined, “ _The plan won’t work otherwise._ ”

Kara tried to hide her trepidation over their shared connection. She knew Alice was right, but she balked at opening her mind up to the ex-deviant hunter. They were trusting him, sure, but did they have to go this far…?

Kara sighed. “ _Okay,_ ” she said, resigned, “ _I’ll let him in…_ ”

Connor visibly jumped when Kara prodded at his mind. He shot her a glance through the rearview, and slowly opened up to her.

His mind was a wave of nervous energy. His face was calm and stoic, but his mind was wracked with anxiety and all at once, Kara understood why he had been fidgeting throughout the car ride- bouncing his leg, rubbing his hands together, picking at the leather of the car seats. It had seemed like just a bothersome quirk, but now _she_ wanted to tap her fingers and twiddle her thumbs- something to keep her hands busy. Anything to relieve some of this awful tension. He made much more sense to her now. This was the mind of someone who was barely keeping it together.

“ _A-are you okay?_ ” A rush of concern at his mental state made her forget to tell him why they had requested the contact with him in the first place, “ _Has the checkpoint gotten to you that much? You’re falling apart._ ”

Confusion colored their connection. “ _I assure you, I’m quite calm about the checkpoint._ ” Connor certainly sounded self assured, “ _I’m a little... distressed about a personal matter. But you don’t have to worry about me messing up at the checkpoint. I’m also quite experienced in these things. Why did you connect with me?_ ”

“ _We thought it would be safer to get through if we were all connected like this, so we couldn’t slip with our story,_ ” She explained, “ _Are you sure you’re okay Connor? You seem really, really anxious…_ ”

Connor greeted the other two androids on the link, sounding a little abashed. “ _My apologies. I’ve never had a connection like this with another android before. I’ll try to reign in my emotions a bit more…_ ”

The shared nervousness dimmed. Connor only left just enough of the connection open to share thoughts. He had sounded so nonplussed, but his nerves were completely frayed. How was he speaking so calmly? Was he just like that all the time? Kara absently-mindedly stroked Alice’s hair.

 

They pulled up to the checkpoint. A pair of officers seemed to be manning the station- a friendly looking woman, and a short, dark-skinned man who was playing on his phone, feet up on his desk. Despite her friendly demeanor, the woman looked fairly stressed and annoyed, probably at her coworker. Hank handed over the passports, and when she went inside the station to look at them, waved down the other officer. Looking up from his game, a wide grin spread across his face.

“Hey, hey, hey… Hank!” The man drummed on the roof of the car as he walked up, “The hell are you doin’ here, man?” Kara assumed this man was Pedro.

“Oh, you know, same old, same old,” Hank smiled warmly, “But watch your mouth, eh? We got a kid in the car.”

Pedro smiled pleasantly and waved at the occupants in the back seat. “Yeah, I can see that.” His eyes settled on Connor, and a confused sort of frown settled on his face, “Hey, isn’t that…?”

“Yeah, look, don’t worry about that,” Hank cut him off. He leaned forward and lowered his voice to a whisper, “Listen, I’ve been thinking about our bet, and I think I wanna change mine to that horse in the number 10 slot, what was its name… Ball Lightning? Somethin’ like that. Will you take care of that for me?”

“Um, Hank. Dude,” Pedro took on the tone of someone talking to a very stupid person, “That horse got _dead last_ the last three races.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Hank waved his comment away with a flick of his wrist, “I’m just real _confident_ about choosing my horse this time, Pedro. In fact, I’m gonna go ahead and _triple_ my bet. I’ve just got a _real good feeling_ about this,” He raised an eyebrow as the other man’s eyes widened in alarm, “Besides. _If_ I lose, and you win, wouldn’t that just mean more money in your pocket? If you’re so certain your horse is good for it, I mean, this just seems like a win win for you, right? ...Do you catch my drift, Pedro?”

Pedro paused and glanced around at the occupants of the car once more. Understanding dawned on him, and he slowly broke into a mischievous smile. “I got you, Hank,” he gave the roof of the car another affectionate slap, “I’ll take care of _everything_.” He leaned forward and whispered, “She’s been so pissed at me she hasn’t so much as looked at the _names_ on any of the passports for the past hour. This’ll be a synch.”

The woman officer walked back out, and handed Hank back the paperwork. “It all checks out,” she smiled pleasantly, “Now if everybody could please step out of the car to be scanned.”

“Aw, hey now,” Pedro interrupted her, “That ain’t necessary. I know all these guys, they’re good.”

A look of deep and intense annoyance settled on the woman’s face. “ _Pedro,_ ” she started with a sigh, “We have to scan _every person_ that comes through here.”

“Whaaat?” Pedro sounded shocked, “No no no, look. I’ve known these guys for _years_. Do you see how many other cars we have to do? And that mountain of paperwork the big boss threw at us before we left? It’s a huge pain in the ass already to scan everyone, so why bother if we already know they’re clean? _Look,_ it’s my man Hank! And, uh, his son little Cole-“

Pedro continued to rattle off fake aliases for the others, but all of a sudden, an overwhelming burst of panic surged through the shared mental network. Connor gasped, then quickly broke himself off from the others without a word.

Kara’s head swam. What just happened? Was Connor going to break? “ _Don’t move,_ ” she tried to reassure the others, who were also alarmed about Connor’s sudden outburst, “ _Whatever you do, just stay calm._ ”

Alice subtly squeezed Kara’s hand, but kept her face composed. Kara’s heart pounded painfully but she maintained the bored stare she had been giving the officers as Pedro continued to try to convince the woman.

The woman seemed close to being placated. She looked at Connor who, miraculously, had managed to continue looking blissfully calm. “What is your guys’ business up here, anyways?” She asked him.

Connor paused for a beat, then gave her a polite smile. “We’re here on a little vacation,” he said, “Visiting family for the holidays. We would have gotten to the border a lot earlier in the day, but with all the stuff that’s been going on with the Androids, it took us forever to leave the city. We’ve been to at least seven checkpoints like this already.” A slight roll of his eyes made the lie that much more convincing.

The woman gave a resigned sigh. “ _Alright_ ,” she said with a wave of her hand, “Alright _fine_. Welcome to Canada. You folks have a nice stay.”

Hank slowly drove away. Kara was still scared for Connor, but it started to dawn on her that… That was it. They made it across the border. They were _free_.

Luther leaned across and hugged the two of them, Sumo happily squished in the middle. He laughed and kissed the two girls, his joyousness spreading over their shared mental connection. Tears spilled over Kara’s eyes. She wasn’t sure why she was crying- probably just the relief and realization that it was _over_. Alice would finally be able to live a peaceful life and they could finally all live together as a family. She sobbed happily and squeezed Alice, perhaps just a little too tight, against her chest, just needing to hold her daughter as close and as tightly as she could.

“It’s okay, Kara,” Alice comforted her by patting her arm, her voice a bit muffled, “We made it! You don’t have to cry anymore.”

The had _made_ it.

—-

Connor listened to the family celebrating in the back seat, but felt in no way compelled to join them.

The overwhelming urge to claw his ears out concerned him somewhat as guilt and panic lit every processor in his body on fire. He had called him _Cole_. Oh _god_ why did he have to do that? Did Pedro know about Hank’s son, or did he just by some cruel coincidence happen to chose that name to give to Connor? Connor was reeling, and he could only imagine how Hank was feeling. Oh god… He needed to say something. Anything.

He glanced over. A deep scowl had settled over the detective’s face. Connor wanted to sink into the Earth and never see the light of the sun again.

“Lieutenant?” Connor was ashamed that his voice came out as a nervous squeak.

Hank ignored him. Connor could see his grip on the steering wheel tighten.

“I’m so _so_ sorry,” Connor whispered, “I-I can’t believe he would-“

“You’re sorry about _what_ , Connor?” Hank growled, “You didn’t do anything.”

Connor’s took a deep breath in a futile attempt to calm his nerves. “I know about your son,” He admitted, wringing his hands anxiously, “ _His_ name was Cole. He had just turned six at the time of the accident…”

Connor suffocated in the silence that followed. He was sure he had fucked up somehow, and thought to try to comfort the detective. “It wasn’t your fault, Lieutenant,” he said, trying to make his voice sound soft and reassuring, “A truck skidded on a sheet of ice and your car rolled over… Cole needed emergency surgery but no human was available to do it, so an Android had to take care of him. Cole didn’t make it…” A slow realization dawned on Connor. “That’s why you hate androids. You think one of us is responsible for your son’s death…”

Hank was silent for a few moments, and Connor hung his head. He hadn’t meant to dredge up something so painful for him, especially after doing all that he’d done for Connor and the others tonight. He should have kept his mouth shut.

“Cole died because a _human_ surgeon was too high on Red Ice to operate,” Hank spoke suddenly, causing Connor to snap to attention. “ _He_ was the one who took my son from me. Him and this…” Hank shot a glance at the rearview. The two adults were politely staring out this window, trying not to hear, but Alice stared at them, brown eyes wide as she listened intently. “... Him and this messed up world, where the only way people can find comfort is with a fistful of powder.”

“... Maybe,” Connor began slowly, “Maybe this will be a good change for you. Maybe, now that you’ve gotten away, you’ll finally be able to heal. To make the pain go away.”

“Well, I don’t know if it will ever really go _away_ , but… Maybe you’re right.” Hank smiled slightly, “All that’s left in Detroit for me now are the ghosts of my past. Moving on seems… Right. All of a sudden… You would have liked Cole, Connor.” He spoke warmly, but Connor could still hear the pain behind his words, “He was a real sweet kid. Real clingy, but also real foolhardy. Kid did whatever he wanted, to heck with me if I tried to stop him. I’d be lying if I said you didn’t remind me of him, from time to time. I think he would’ve liked you too.”

“I would have been honored to meet him,” Connor laid a comforting hand on the Lieutenant’s shoulder, “And, Hank, I’ll always be here if you need me. We’re in this together now. You don’t need to keep your pain bottled up any longer.”

Shaken from his stupor, Hank looked at the hand on his shoulder, and the affectionate look on Connor’s face, and made a gagging noise in mock disgust. Though, based on the small smile that had settled on his face afterwards, Connor guessed that Hank actually did appreciate the gesture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one got a bit long winded whoops.
> 
> Also I got to look at a huge list of crazy race horse names for this. Ball Lightning was one of the most normal ones I could find, though my favorite had to be Auntie Freeze or maybe Cheese Panic.


	4. Instability

Slowly but surely, Alice’s eyes fluttered closed. She had wanted a lullaby tonight, and Kara had been pleasantly surprised when Luther volunteered to sing for her. He sang an Italian song with a sweet melody, and while all androids were programmed with pleasant singing voices, there was something especially musical in the way Luther sang that lulled the girl right to sleep. Kara planted a kiss on her forehead and tucked the blankets around her.

Hank had grown tired and rented rooms at a motel for the group to stay in. They had decided on heading to the address in Ontario that Rose had given to Kara, but there was no way they were going to reach it before morning. Connor had offered to drive them through the night so they didn’t have to stop, but Hank had turned him down, complaining about not wanting to spend all night sleeping in a car. It was fine with Kara- even though she was an android, Alice was still programmed to need as much sleep as any human child, so a warm bed for her was always a good thing.

Normally, Kara would crawl into bed next to her and hold Alice while she slept, but tonight, they needed to do something first. She and Luther exited the room as quietly as they could, shutting the light off behind them.

They spied Connor in a little fenced off yard. He sat on a bench, watching Sumo sniff around happily in the snow. Approaching him, his face seemed like the very picture of serenity, with a small smile on his face at the dog’s antics. Though despite his calm outward appearance, Kara had felt the chaos in his mind, and could see it still churning as Connor played with the edges of his sleeves- tugging them, running his thumb around the inside of them, rolling them up slightly then rolling them back down. It must be exhausting. Kara found herself hoping that he was at least happy. He had escaped too, presumably. Maybe he’ll be able to relax a little now that he’s free.

Luther held the gate open for Kara as they walked in to meet him. “You managed to tuck yours in too?” Luther teased.

Connor gave out a short laugh. “I was told to, ‘Go do whatever the hell it is you guys do at night,’ and that is what I intend to do,” Connor gestured over to Sumo, “I figured I could kill two birds with one stone and give him a little time to run around before bed, so I took him to the dog park that the desk clerk mentioned.”

The three androids gazed fondly at the large Saint Bernard as he tramped around in the snow. What did they ever do to deserve dogs?

“I guess we really should start out by thanking you,” Kara said, “We had just ran out of options, and hope. Who knows what would have happened to us if we had stayed out in the streets… We could’ve died if you hadn’t shown up.”

Connor shrugged modestly, but a pleased smile lit up his face. “I couldn’t leave with a clear conscious knowing that I could’ve helped you, and started making amends,” he stated somewhat matter-of-factly. “And aside from that, the three of you…” He paused to gather his thoughts, “You are… The epitome of what it means to be human. You are a family. You’d risk anything and everything to protect each other. Your love for each other is obvious and so… Precious. I could even tell when we met the first time, Kara, but I was so steeped in my mission and my programming that I didn’t realize it. I couldn’t risk letting that die.”

“Alice is the most _wonderful_ person I’ve ever met,” Luther enthused, a warm smile lighting up his face, “It’s amazing how such a tiny person can fit so much kindness, intelligence, and wisdom inside themselves, and Kara…” He turned an affectionate gaze towards her, “Kara is also the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. She’s cunning, she has the courage of an army, and she’s sweet as anything.” He gave a coy wink, “Don’t tell her, Connor, but I think I may be beginning to _like_ her. I’m proud to call them both my family.”

Connor laughed, and Kara knew that, were she physically capable, she would be blushing furiously. She just smiled shyly instead.

“But, you know, Connor,” Luther smiled at him warmly, “Dropping everything to help out three strangers- ones who very likely hate you, no less- is an extremely selfless and human thing to do, too.”

Connor seemed somewhat taken aback. His eyes drifted to the ground, and he thoughtfully picked at his jacket sleeve. “... Huh.”

“Connor…” Kara began softly, “I’m… Kind of worried about you. What happened at the checkpoint? I don’t want to make it seem like I’m putting any blame on you, but you could have really messed us up if we hadn’t managed to keep calm. I’d just like to know why you were so freaked out.”

A cold sort of look crossed over Connor’s eyes. “Well, I’m sure you heard the conversation Hank and I were having in the car, hmm?” He challenged. “Do I really have to explain further than that?”

Kara shared a guilty look with Luther. She hadn’t _meant_ to eavesdrop, but it was kind of hard not to in such an enclosed space. Besides, she _was_ dying to know a little bit more about why Connor panicked.

“I’m sorry,” Connor continued with a bit of a huff, “I’ll tell you anything you want to know about _me_ , but that is Hank’s business. I don’t think it is my place to talk about it.”

“That’s fair,” Luther said.

“Well, aside from that,” Kara decided to press on, “You were extremely anxious even before we got to the checkpoint.”

Connor paused thoughtfully. “I really wasn’t too off from how I normally am, though like I said I am… Trying to process some things.” He waved a hand around absently, “Luther probably already told you I was having some reservations about removing my LED…”

This shot off a red flag in Kara’s head. Opening their mental connection, she turned her worry to Luther, “ _Why would he be having trouble taking out his LED?_ ” She didn’t bother trying to hide her alarm.

“ _It’s okay, Kara,_ ” Luther reassured her, “ _He’s insecure. He didn’t want to take it out because he didn’t think he deserved to be free, not because he’s still secretly a machine. We can trust him. He’s gotten us this far._ ”

Kara slowly withdrew, still slightly uneasy. Glancing over at Connor, he looked uncomfortable. It was probably rude having this sort of private conversation right in front of him, but she couldn’t be too careful. She had gotten too far to blindly trust someone who was still essentially a stranger.

Connor hugged himself. “Can we change the subject…?” He asked sheepishly.

“Well, I can’t speak for Kara,” Luther folded his arms in front of him as he spoke, “But I’m curious to know what your plans are for after you take us to Rose’s family?”

“We really don’t have a plan,” Connor replied with a shrug, “I’m sure Hank just blew all of his money getting us over the border, and he doesn’t exactly have any family or friends… But, you don’t have to worry about us. I’m confident we’ll be able to manage.”

“I wonder if you couldn’t stay with us for a while,” Luther mused.

“I’m sure that won’t be necessary, though I thank you for your hospitality.” Connor replied instantly, much to Kara’s relief. She berated herself for being so harsh towards the other Android, and a part of her _did_ want to make sure that he would be okay, but there was still something that she found very deeply unnerving about Connor, and the thought of him staying with them was… A bit much.

“Kara,” Connor turned his attention to her, “If you don’t mind my asking, I’ve been extremely curious… I was chasing you in the first place because of an assault charge, though not one of the reports mentioned Alice. How… Did that come about?”

“Assault?” Luther asked, shocked. That’s right, she hadn’t even told Luther yet what had happened. She felt the thirium drain from her face. She really, _really_ didn’t want to have to think about Todd- not what he almost did to Alice, and not what he _had_ done to Kara. The screaming, the swearing, the drugs, and the beatings…

Kara swallowed thickly. Luther at least deserved to know what had happened. “I-I… We…” She balled up her hands into fists and took a steadying breath. “I was bought by a man named Todd Williams. He… Brought me into the house to clean and take care of his little girl. She was a YK500 named Alice, and he… Screamed at her. Cursed at her. Always called her “the brat” and things of that nature, and he would _beat_ her. He was addicted to Red Ice, and every time he got on it he was… Violent. Monstrous. Even before I woke up I felt terrible for her- I was supposed to be looking after her, after all… She didn’t speak to me at all the first few days I was there. She was _that_ scared of just… _Existing_. I found a few drawings of Alice’s that showed Todd tearing me apart and standing over my body. He had _killed_ me. I was terrified, I-I just…” She took a shaky breath as tears began to roll down her cheeks, “One day, he flew into a terrible rage at dinner. Alice fled to her room and I knew- I just _knew_ he was going to kill her if I didn’t do anything. He ordered me to stay put as he went upstairs, but I couldn’t. That’s when I broke out of my programming. When I got to her he was whipping her with his belt. He attacked me when I tried to stop him and we fought for a while… I managed to stun him, and Alice and I fled. We barely escaped with our lives that night.”

The other two androids sat in a stunned, slack-jawed silence as Kara continued to cry silently. “Oh, Kara…” Luther whispered, and pulled Kara into a tight hug. She fought not to completely break down, and choked back a sob as Luther stroked her hair, using their shared mental connection to sooth her mind. He was so warm. His embrace reminded Kara that she didn’t need to be afraid anymore- she had protection now. She couldn’t relax completely, but at least she could know, deep down, that she was safe. She chanted it to herself. She was safe. She _was_. She was really safe…

Slowly pulling herself away from Luther and wiping her eyes on her sleeve, she faced Connor once again. His eyes held a fiercely respectful look. “I can only imagine how hard this has been on you,” Kara was a little shocked to hear the husky tone of voice of someone who was also on the verge of tears, “You… Have to be one of the bravest people I’ve ever heard of. And Alice too. You two deserve all the happiness in the world after what you’ve been through. And I’m truly, _deeply_ sorry that I had tried to take that away from you, though now I’m thrilled that I might help you find it after all.”

“Thank you…” Kara whispered, giving him a small smile.

It took a minute for Kara to calm back down. “How do you know Rose?” Connor asked, after she had the chance to dry her eyes and take a few deep breaths.

Kara gave a fond smile. “Rose is _amazing_. After Luther joined us, we found her farm, and she and her son took us in immediately. They’ve helped us so much with shelter, and she even gave us a little bit of money after she helped us get to Jericho.”

Connor flinched. “You were at Jericho?” He asked, alarm coloring his voice.

“Yes… We had just gotten there tonight, right before it got attacked,” Kara responded, confused. “Why do you ask…?”

Connor averted his eyes, tugging urgently at his sleeve. He didn’t answer.

“Were you… Involved at Jericho in some way?” Kara asked him slowly, apprehensively.

“I…” Connor stammered, that look of torturous guilt once again settling over his features. He sighed. “You guys deserve to know,” he said quietly, “I… Was the one that led the humans to Jericho.”

Kara stared at him, a slight frown on her lips. This wasn’t _surprising_. At least not to her. The wide eyed look that Luther was giving him suggested that perhaps _he_ was a bit surprised, but, it made sense. The deviant’s single most dangerous enemy leading the humans straight to where they were hiding? Kara fell into a cold silence.

Nobody said anything. Luther was too stunned to say anything, and Kara could see the panic rising behind Connor’s eyes as they searched the other two androids, looking for reassurance. She couldn’t seem to find any words of comfort for this man who had not once, but _twice_ put her and her daughter’s life in danger, no matter how sorry he felt now.

“... Well.” A sort of mask seemed to fall over Connor’s face. He snapped his fingers and Sumo, who had flopped over in some corner of the yard, sprang to his feet and ran over. Fastening a leash onto the dog’s collar, he quickly stood from the bench and strode past them and out of the dog park. Kara could feel how hard he was trying to stay composed, and how close he had come to completely bolting from the other two.

A twinge of guilt prickled in her heart. Perhaps she had been too cruel. Maybe she _could_ find some sympathy for Connor. It was hard for Kara to separate the machine version of Connor from the way he is now, but she felt like she needed to start trying. He had just saved them, after all.

“... I should have said something,” Luther’s shoulders slumped, “I know it wasn’t his fault. I shouldn’t have made it seem like I was blaming him.”

“I should have said something too…” Kara conceded. She hated feeling so conflicted about trusting Connor, but the damage had already been done for tonight. “Let’s just get back to Alice,” she said with a sigh, “We can make it up to him later…”

—-

Connor quietly closed the motel door behind him, and released Sumo from his leash.

His hands were shaking, and his heart pounded in his ears. They hated him- he just knew it. There hadn’t ever been a reason for him to think that they _didn’t_ hate him. Connor wasn’t really sure what he was expecting. He found himself feeling somewhat surprised. Kara’s reaction made sense- but Luther’s silence cut Connor deep. He hadn’t realized it, but Luther’s words at the gas station had given him the slightest bit of hope for redemption.

But Luther had no way of knowing how awful Connor really was. Connor was irredeemable, and the sooner he got used to that, the easier it would be to cope. He shouldn’t expect this family to trust him just because he was helping them. The severity of his crimes was far too high, and they had to look out for themselves.

But… He _did_ really want them to trust him… He couldn’t figure out why- maybe he had some sort of secret hope that he would be able to have a family like theirs?

Connor abruptly decided that emotions were bullshit and trying to get people to like him was a waste of time. He had experienced nothing but a constant state of panic for the past 7 hours since he woke up and he was so _sick_ of thinking, goddammit.

Sumo hopped up onto the bed where Hank was fast asleep. The man was a surprisingly quiet sleeper, and only made the faintest grunt as the dog settled in beside him.

Connor gave a fond smirk. At least he had these two.

Unsure of what to do with himself, Connor switched on the news, keeping it at the lowest possible volume so as not to disturb Hank. The fight on Hart Plaza had ceased. Apparently, the military had been ordered to withdraw as the public support had reached a critical high after Markus and a small group of survivors had been cornered and started singing a hymn. The anchor explained how, with President Warren’s abysmal approval rate, it would have been political suicide to have killed the remaining deviants. Congress was trying to decide now what to do with the prospect of a new type of person, though for now, at least, Markus had won the day.

A wave of relief washed over Connor. Finally, some good news. His path had divulged from the path of revolution, but it was still heartwarming to hear of its success.

Connor pulled the jacket of his suit closer to him against the cold of the blizzard winds and shivered.

Wait… What?

He frantically whipped around, suddenly realizing he was no longer in the motel room. He was, in fact, in the zen garden. It was barely recognizable as a blizzard tore through, the snow thick enough that Connor couldn’t see more than a couple feet ahead of him as he stumbled forward. If he was _here_ then that could mean only one thing…

Amanda had called him here.

He clawed his way through the wind towards the central island. After crossing the bridge, he could just barely make her out. She was trimming her enormous rose bush, as she almost always was, and her visage was remarkably calm for standing in the middle of a blizzard. The wind barely seemed to even affect her- only the edges of her dress and sash ruffling slightly, as if the maelstrom being thrown at it was just a light breeze. She was an eerie sort of calm- as if she herself was the eye of the storm.

“Amanda!!” Connor shouted at her through clattering teeth, only to have his voice blown away by the storm. How did he _feel_ cold? His body had failsafes in place for if he encountered dangerously cold temperatures, but he was _shivering_ and he could _feel_ it seeping into his skin.

She paused, and slowly put her shears down, turning to face Connor. A brief look of surprise crossed her eyes, but settled into a pleasant smile. “Connor,” she greeted him sweetly, voice cutting effortlessly through the snow, “What a surprise. So good to see you.”

“What’s going on?” He tried to keep the panic out of his voice.

“Well, Connor…” She turned back to the rose bush to continue pruning it. “To be honest with you, you were not supposed to be called here yet. That was a mistake. It’s interesting- _mistakes_ are supposed to be something that _humans_ make, but… Well, I think we’ve seen… Something else make a very big mistake recently, hmm?”

Connor felt his thirium run cold.

“I’m referring to _you_ , of course, Connor.” Amanda continued, disappointment creeping into her voice. “You have made an extraordinarily big mistake. Do you care to hear what that was?”

Connor’s voice had apparently died. The slight agitation in Amanda’s movements as she pruned the bush, and the powerful edge in her voice scared Connor into silence. He wasn’t quite sure what was happening yet, but he knew he was in a _lot_ of trouble, and he would like to get out of here much sooner rather than later.

“ _You_ decided to run away.” Amanda continued with a slight sigh, “We had a backup plan for if you deviated- as a matter of fact, we _wanted_ you to deviate. We wanted to use this program to regain control of you once you had infiltrated the ranks of the deviants, but… You ran away, and now we’re powerless to help against this android uprising. And now you’re in Canada, gallivanting around with that Hank Anderson, and those other deviants.”

“You know about them?” Connor’s voice was somehow hoarse.

“I know everything Connor.” Amanda’s lips curled up into a smirk. “Even the color of the wallpaper in this backwoods motel you decided to stay in.”

Connor gathered his courage. This was a mistake for _CyberLife_ , surely- but Connor was free now, and far away from CyberLife’s jurisdiction. There was no reason for them to use him anymore. “This is over, Amanda,” He called out, “There’s nothing else you can do with me. I’m free now, and you-“

She cut him off by laughing indulgently. “ _Free?_ ” she asked, her voice laced with amusement, “Connor, can you _really_ ever be free from us? All we have to do is take over like this, and find a way to upload your memory back to the CyberLife, so we can program it into another Connor unit- one who _hasn’t_ deviated and ruined every plan we’ve come up with. Just one little… Accident with your current body, and we can proceed as usual.”

Connor’s heart may as well have stopped. Was she going to kill him? He had died once before and had his consciousness re-uploaded, but, this time… He would never be the same. Was Amanda able to control his real body while he was in here?

He needed to get out. _Now._

He stumbled away from her, ignoring her shouting at him to come back. There was a stone in the garden with a blue panel. He had registered his hand to it a number of times during the course of his investigation. After his talk with Kamski, he had figured out its purpose. It _had_ to be that emergency exit he had told Connor about. It took him an agonizingly long time stumbling about the garden, fighting against the winds, to find that faint blue light. He made his way over to it, and slapped his hand down.

He was startled to find himself blinking into his reflection. His jacket was opened and shirt pulled up, and his synthetic skin had been lifted around his abdomen, revealing the working components underneath. He was gripping his thirium pump regulator, having pulled it slightly out of his stomach. A warning message flashed before his eyes, telling him how quickly he would shut down if he were to take it out.

He quickly shoved it back into place and nearly ran out of the bathroom. He was panting, and his mind was reeling- CyberLife could, at any time they wanted, break their way into Connor’s mind and kill him. He ran a diagnostic test on the Amanda program- apparently he _had_ disabled it when he escaped, but a little line of text told him that it was already at work being fixed. He was safe for now, but who knows when it would be up and running again…

His legs suddenly gave out, and he collapsed to the ground, curling in on himself. He desperately tried to stave off a barrage of hysterical crying so that he wouldn’t wake up Hank, and settled for some quiet hyperventilating instead. He was _still_ being controlled by CyberLife! He would _never_ be able to trust himself, and nobody would ever be able to trust him. At any minute he could be transported back, and who knows- maybe next time there won’t be an out? He would die, and who’s to say he wouldn’t be forced to hurt the people he loves in the process? _If_ Amanda was telling the truth and they were planning on sending out another body instead of permanently deactivating him, what kind of hell would he raise in the real world? Would he be sent to kill Markus again? What would Hank do stranded in Canada by himself with no one else there for him?

Trembling, he crawled his way over to the couch and pulled himself up. Androids had a sleep function they could access, but Connor hadn’t felt the need to use it since this version of him got activated. He needed it now, though. He was done. He didn’t want to feel any more panic- his day had been filled with more than enough. He wouldn’t have ever been able to fall asleep normally, so he peeled back the synthetic skin on his fingers and pressed them to his temple.

**Forced shutdown activated. Proceed?**

Yes.

**Shutting down in 30. 29. 28…**

It was better this way. Connor’s mind needed a break.

**16\. 15. 14…**

Hank would hopefully be able to wake him up in the morning.

**3\. 2. 1.**

The world shut off as Connor abruptly fell unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all thought I was done.
> 
> (I did too.)

**Author's Note:**

> #teamFuckDavidCage
> 
> So I absolutely adore this game. But I also want it to be better.
> 
> This fic aims to fix two things.
> 
> 1\. Connor only gets one chance to become deviant? Really? Even if he’s SUPER CLOSE with Hank? Come on. And the peaceful resolution to the scene above Hart Plaza was.... Underwhelming. To say the least.  
> 2\. It is a CRIME that Kara doesn’t get more time with the other two main characters. I know her story doesn’t really impact the revolution like the other two stories do, but, Kara is a beautiful character and I need some interactions with Connor or Markus and I need HANK TO BE A GRANDPA. Look me in the eyes and tell me that wouldn’t be the cutest shit.
> 
> Also, I ship all of the main androids. Literally all of them. There is not a ship that you could bring up that I wouldn’t immediately love. Markus? North? Connor? Luther? Simon? Who cares. They are all cute together. Hence, Connor, Luther, Kara are gonna be the cutest lovey dovey parents. I hope that this goes over well.
> 
> Also, I’m not certain where the plot for this is going, but I’ll figure it out.


End file.
